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Post by LordTerrible on Jun 8, 2005 13:01:57 GMT -5
*the combined force cuts through the ranks of the yaks. Lord T panics as he sees the rapid pace at which his warriors fall.*
I'm doomed! Unless.. NO! I must resist! Nobody deserves... unless... it is my only hope. I didn't want to do this Bludge!! *presses a few buttons on the control panel of his yak*
*A syringe hidden under the fur of the yaks is activated, and injects a small amount of liquid into the beasts. The yaks start roaring furiously, and fray starts to spout from their mouths. The yaks are as in a berserker rage, not heeding the wounds from the milklaser/cud attacks*
MAD COW DISEASE!!!
*the stampeding yaks charge forward, brutally goring any Fresian in their way*
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Post by Bludgeonman on Jun 8, 2005 14:34:29 GMT -5
*The hornless fresians are at a severe disadvantage to the bezerking yaks, and the ranks are decimated. The remaining cows kick and headbutt as best they can, though many are bleeding along the flanks.*
Slow motion: Moooo <splat> Mooaaaggheeeeaaar!! <crack> Moooooooo...
*The last yak uses her dying breath to run a horn through the neck of Bludge's warcow, which collapses to her knees, gasping for breath.
All the yaks and fresians are dead. Lord T and Bludgeon survey the battlefield, and take a shotgun to the vultures that swooped down earlier to feast upon the dead bovines.*
So then. What now?
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Post by Amaunator on Jun 8, 2005 15:33:04 GMT -5
"Move out men, we have a situation on our hands here, over." Says a marine that just got out of the ocean that suddenly appeared not far south of the yak-fresian battle.
"Go, go, go, go!" Yells the sergeant to his men, some good hundred fifty navy vets that have been trained in Belgium (harsh land ... these men are lucky to see some sun twice a year!).
"Ok men, clear the perimeter! We gotta have this area decontaminated." He says through the microphone.
"Sir, we've scouted an enormous amount of mad cow diseased carcasses some mile ahead of us, shall we send the VETerans, over?" Another officer calls in to check up with his superior.
"We will send the healicopters with our nerve core troops, over, form three flanks, blue and brown right, black and beige middle and pink and purple, left. Move out men, over!" The sergeant says again. As they all move forward the healicopters are being called in to strike at alpha-charlie with the vitamin C-bom... 
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Post by LordTerrible on Jun 8, 2005 17:11:25 GMT -5
Ermm.. Well... Let's go have a pint. Then we can write cool chronicles about the First Yak/Fresian Wars. |
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Post by Bludgeonman on Jun 11, 2005 5:40:01 GMT -5
Awesome. TO THE PUB!
*Bludge and Terrible merrily skip to the helpfully placed "Freaky Boredom Bar" and order a pint each. They then sit at an unnocupied table and begin discussing the chronicles of the bovine war.*
Nono! The yak was 700 feet high!
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Post by LordTerrible on Jun 11, 2005 6:33:51 GMT -5
*as Bludgeon and Lord T gets increasingly drunk, the details of the cow/yak skirmish grows ever more epic*
...And the fighting lasted for a hundred years, with 100 billion dead yak and cow casualties!!
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Post by Amaunator on Jun 16, 2005 4:29:28 GMT -5
Feels neglected and depressed  
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Post by Solar on Jun 16, 2005 9:14:09 GMT -5
*Shoots Ammy in the head with a sniper rifle, knowibng there isn't anything of any worth in there...  * |
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Post by Bludgeonman on Jun 16, 2005 10:45:39 GMT -5
...And the fighting lasted for a hundred years, with 100 billion dead yak and cow casualties!! Yeahyeahyeah! And there were, like, massive catapultsh that flung bouldersh a hundred milesh wide! And the boulders had, like, ninjars that jumped off and started killing everything! Here *offers Ammy a blanket to snuggle up to.* Theresh a teddy in the bashement if you wantsh it! |
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Post by Amaunator on Jun 25, 2005 4:07:54 GMT -5
I don't need a blanket, I need my navy vets!
Oh, your estimates are quite wrong you know, the fight lasted like a week, less even, and there were only a thousand yaks or so, and GOD that must have smelled awful!
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Post by LordTerrible on Jun 25, 2005 8:56:31 GMT -5
No Ammy, I am quite certain that the battle raged relentlessly at least for 30 years. The front spanned thousands of kilometres, and the casualties on each side were at LEAST 25 billion.
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Post by The Kaiser on Jun 26, 2005 18:02:36 GMT -5
Hmm... where the hell am I? Dead yak... they had better look like Bison. Bison, he was a bad guy in Street Fighter. He had that cool energy attack if you held back for 2 seconds and then pushed forward+A on the SNES controlled. SNES was an interesting console it had mario and you had to jump on things. And those things went on to be President. And after they destroyed the economy a small Russian mouse tried to emigrate to the USA but was stopped by border control cats. And cats have that furball projectile attack that resembles Ryu's Hadoken. And if you kept using Hadoken no one stould a chance, kinda like in mortal combat when you just pressed A till your fingers bled and your opponent couldn't move unless they were Shan Khan who just whacked you with a freaking sledge hammer. And then there was that guy you could fire missile at, missiles that clearly exploded as you hit his bloody horse backside, only for a second later your missile was reflected back. Now forgive me if I'm wrong but explosive chemical warheads do not usually contain nanites to reconstruct their shattered remains. Nanites are always evil, their either converting iron in the blood into implants, reducing the universe to goo or being used to construct advanced evil replicators. Seriously, does everyone forget their medical benefits? They could cure cancer or be used to replace all human workers making unemployment go up and making rich people richer. But with higher unemloyment there would be a serious dose of deflation according to text-book theory, but that's not what happened to the Weimar Republic. No one had a job but they were hyper-inflated. It just defies convention. Speaking of conventions, I wonder if there's one of them on now...
*wanders off to find a convention*
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Post by LordTerrible on Jun 26, 2005 22:45:58 GMT -5
Greetings Kaiser who is wandering, I happened to overhear your ramblings and I also happen to be a conventioner. I am up to my knees in convention-dealing, though classified as a Class Æ drug. That's right, I've got some new conventions for you to conventionally convert to covert conventions. In return I must ask that you hand your biker mice from Mars to Raphael, who doubles as a multi-talented artist and a mutated shelled reptile aging 13 to 19 skilled in ninjutsu. Both are cool, that reminds me of that philosophers football match in Monthy Snake. I wonder who would draw first in a battle between the 53 greatest philosophers from Mars and a ninja convention. There is only one way to find out I guess, and that is to set up a pie refinery, to process the raw pie that I found while dislocating my mandibles.
*Starts his search for a piefinery.*
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Post by Amaunator on Jun 29, 2005 4:43:08 GMT -5
*starts his search for sanity ...*
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Post by Bludgeonman on Jun 29, 2005 16:46:01 GMT -5
SANITY!? Where, where!? Is it on me? Get it off!
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*
